SpongeBob & the Asexual Crustaceans

I don't usually side with nutty evangelically-aligned boycotts. I'm a Republican, dammit - I don't boycott and I don't sign petitions (except nominating petitions). And Dobson and the rest brought this on themselves by seeing the devil in everything.

I'll admit that the message is mushy, and the song "We Are Family" has long been associated with gay pride, or at least gay discos (Ah disco, where effeminate men and greasy "Vinnie" types can find common ground.) I am no fan of indoctrination campaigns, especially ones which proclaim this as their mission:

"We Are Family Foundation celebrates our common humanity and the vision of a global family by creating and supporting programs that inspire and educate individuals of all ages about diversity, understanding, respect and multiculturalism; and to support those who are victims of intolerance."

Blech!

Use of the M word may set me off (it's code for "white people = bad") but isn't the purpose of the organization is to reinfoce peaceful coexistence, a concept which would benefit a great many Christians in the middle east? How could an organization which would have one of the Osmond brothers on its board of governors and Montell Williams, Steve Van Zandt, and Bennett Cerf's son on the board of directors be all bad?

The real issue is the way in which Dobson and his ilke react to this sort of thing. One penetcostal preacher, Rev. Joseph Chambers of Charlotte, N.C., wanted to rid PBS of Sesame Street because Bert and Ernie were sewing in one episode - obvious gay behavior in his mind. That's nuttiness of the highest order.

Ultimately, Dobson may be right on one count. The pledge that WAF is promoting is from the Southern Poverty Law Center's tolerance project and concludes with this sentence:

"To help keep diversity a wellspring of strength and make America a better place for all, I pledge to have respect for people whose abilities, beliefs, culture, race, sexual identity or other characteristics are different from my own."

Sexual identity? We're teaching kids about sexual identities at a time of their lives when they're most ignorant about sex? That is not acceptable. Kids who watch Sesame Street don't need to hear about respecting cross-dressers. So despite the fact that crazy preachers are seeing the devil in salt-shakers and gays in felt, Dobson's objection is valid.

Despite Complaints, 'Crazy' Bear to Stay on Shelf

"A straightjacketed 'Crazy for You' teddy bear has drawn rebukes from the governor, mental health advocates and human rights groups — but it's a hit among shoppers.

"The $69.95 bear, which is accompanied by commitment papers, is selling well despite complaints that it insults and stigmatizes those with mental illness.

"Vermont Teddy Bear Co. President Elisabeth Robert says the bear is meant as a funny Valentine's Day greeting and has been popular among customers."

Of course it has! It's cute for one. You'd have to be crazy to find fault with this bear.

Anyhoo, everybody has a crazy relative that's impossible to shop for. This is the perfect gift.

Passing the Torch at Bob Jones U.

The son of Bob Jones III is now the chancellor and says he was proud when his dad lifted the ban on inter-racial dating at the school. That's all fine and good, but the school's distancing itself from its long history of anti-Catholic rhetoric has yet to occur (the graduation of another son, Bob Jones IV, from Notre Dame notwithstanding.) Read more of the elder Jones's "scholarly" work here.

Billboard Blitz to Blast Hollywood

"HUMAN EVENTS has learned that a billboard blitz 'thanking' Hollywood for the reelection of President Bush will be unveiled early next week.

The advertisements feature the faces of liberal Hollywood icons Michael Moore, Whoopi Goldberg, Ben Affleck, Martin Sheen, Chevy Chase, Barbara Streisand, and Sean Penn, and offer thanks to Hollywood their help getting President Bush reelected.

Two versions of the billboard were created, both 'thanking' Hollywood -- the first for '4 more years' and the second for 'W. Still President.'

Billboard creator Citizens United, a group that advocates a return to traditional American values, has purchased the use of three billboards near the Kodak Theatre (home of the Academy Awards) for the month of February, which includes Oscar Night, Sunday, February 27. "

As much as Hollywood tries to get away, the more it is reminded of Michael Moore and the general mental nuttiness out there.

taking-apart the mac mini

For those who can't leave well enough alone...

Darren Gauthier's Crud

To those friends who keep asking if I am well, the answer is yes, I am back in the swing of things. For those who are wondering what this is all about, I was ill for three weeks after Christmas but am now back among the land of the living.

SATELLITE CHAT

"Satellite radio rivals Sirius and XM have been cozying up to each other, The Post has learned."

This is a positive development. If they join forces, they'd have more sattelites therefore more bandwidth and the possibility of more channels and better sound quality. Plus all the sports you can shake a stick at and Howard Stern too.

As long as my in-car receiver still works afterwards, I'm fine with a merger.

GSN Plans Saturday Tribute to Johnny

Classic TV fans, get that VHS tape ready to roll! It doesn't get any more classic - and classy - than this. From tvgameshows.net:

"Drawing on some of the gems of its classic library, GSN will offer a six-hour tribute to the late Johnny Carson Saturday.

"Carson, who died Sunday at the age of 79, will be featured in twelve Goodson-Todman games from the '50 and '60s, including a classic early nighttime Password with Pat Carroll as his celebrity opponent.

The marathon runs from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. (ET/PT). The lineup is as follows:

9:00 A.M TO TELL THE TRUTH - 12/5/60 - Bud Collyer hosts celebrity panelists Johnny Carson, Betty White, Don Ameche, and Kitty Carlisle with Wilma Rudolph as guest celebrity.

9:30 A.M. TO TELL THE TRUTH - 1/2/61 - Bud Collyer hosts celebrity panelists Johnny Carson, Betty White, Don Ameche and Kitty Carlisle.

10:00 A.M. TO TELL THE TRUTH - 10/2/61 - Bud Collyer hosts celebrity panelists Johnny Carson, Dina Merrill and Kitty Carlisle and Tom Poston.

10:30 A.M. TO TELL THE TRUTH - 12/18/61 - Bud Collyer hosts celebrity panelists Johnny Carson, Dina Merrill, Kitty Carlisle and Ralph Bellamy.

11:00 A.M. WHAT'S MY LINE? - 7/30/61 - John Daly hosts celebrity panelists Johnny Carson, Arlene Francis, Bennett Cerf and Dorothy Kilgallen with Nancy Walker as mystery guest.

11:30 A.M. WHAT'S MY LINE? - 4/8/56 - John Daly hosts celebrity
panelists Johnny Carson, Arlene Francis, Bennett Cerf and Dorothy Kilgallen with Ray Bolger as mystery guest.

12:00 P.M. WHAT'S MY LINE? - 5/28/61 - John Daly hosts celebrity panelists Johnny Carson, Arlene Francis, Bennett Cerf and Dorothy Kilgallen with Sophia Loren as mystery guest.

12:30 P.M. PASSWORD - 1/23/62 - Allen Ludden hosts celebrity panelists Johnny Carson and Pat Carroll.

1:00 P.M. I'VE GOT A SECRET - 1/11/61 - Garry Moore hosts celebrity panelists Johnny Carson, Betsy Palmer, Bess Myerson and Henry Morgan with Patrice Munsel as guest celebrity.

1:30 P.M. I'VE GOT A SECRET - 2/11/59 - Garry Moore hosts celebrity panelists Johnny Carson, Betsy Palmer, Bess Myerson and Henry Morgan with Rocky Graziano as guest celebrity.

2:00 P.M. I'VE GOT A SECRET - 2/10/60 Garry Moore hosts celebrity panelists Johnny Carson, Betsy Palmer, Bess Myerson and Henry Morgan with Steve Allen as guest celebrity.

2:30 P.M. I'VE GOT A SECRET - 2/15/61 - Garry Moore hosts celebrity panelists Johnny Carson, Betsy Palmer, Bess Myerson and Henry Morgan with Lucille Ball as guest celebrity."

Absent are a few notable episodes after Johnny was picked to host 'Tonight.' He continued to be a regular on TTTT for a few weeks after his elevation to late night host. He appeared as a mystery guest on 'WML?' in April of '62, and host John Daly mentioned that Carson would "replace Jack Paar come the fall" which brought appreciative applause from the audience. Johnny also appeared as a WML? panelist a few years later, which allowed Arlene Francis to intro him as "that man you stay up for." Carson's improved confidence on that episode was noticeable from the moment he strolled onto the set - he was the cock of the walk and he knew it. When WML? reruns cycle around to 1962-1963, try to catch these two repeats. They're fun to watch in addition to the historical significance.

Meanwhile: When late night was Johnny Carson

Another NYT dissection of Carson, this time asserting that 'Tonight' was/is the "nightlife" of the American cities where most folks go to bed at 9:30. While I find that attitude condescending coming from the Times, it's not entirely inaccurate. In the south, nightlife conjures up an image of toothless drunks in a bar with trashy women...and the TV has Carson on.

Johnny Carson: The Rolling Stone Interview

This piece from 1979 yielded a classic cover and thanks to the late Timothy White, an insightful, candid and adult conversation, perhaps the best published interview of Carson. It's posted on their site in it's entirety.

Johnny Carson's Long Symbiosis With New York

Never able to allow a moment to pass without reflecting on the New York-ness of it, the Times weighs in on Carson's legacy:

"For the first decade of his 30-year reign at the 'Tonight' show, Mr. Carson broadcast regularly from Rockefeller Center, which seemed only fitting since the New York he conveyed to the rest of the country was the swinging, smart, sophisticated city immortalized earlier by big bands and make-believe ballrooms. Guests drank and smoked as Mr. Carson presided in Nehru jackets, then in his Gino Paoli merino-wool turtlenecks beneath black mohair dinner jackets, and eventually in his own brand of apparel. He introduced the theatrical and literary personalities of New York - Tony Randall, Truman Capote - and ever so gingerly nudged the big city's permissiveness onto network television...he seemed, at least to outsiders, to personify New York in the 1960's."

As I was born in the 1970s, I never saw Carson's show originate from New York except in fuzzy clips on anniversary shows (thanks to NBC's oversight, a large majority of tapes from that era have been destroyed and what's left is mostly preserved not on videotape but on kinescope and in black and white, even though 'Tonight' had been in full color way back to the Jack Paar era. How infuriating!) But those clips allow still some of the hip vibe to shine through. Others reflect on the same subject:

"'If they had said, "Let's do this thing to make people want to be in the East and in New York City," that's exactly the way they would have done it,' recalled Dick Cavett, Mr. Carson's occasional late-night competitor.

"'I fell for the whole urbane party setup - the carpeted riser, the couch, the twinkling-night-sky backdrop,' Jon Garelick wrote in The Boston Phoenix in 1997. 'It was bizarrely adult, as exotic as New York itself.'"

Indeed, millions of Americans fell for it to, and it's why hipsters like myself want to be in that city. Ah, maybe one day.

Condolences

The family of Bob Hope:

"Farewell, Johnny...

Like the rest of America the Bob Hope family mourns the death of Johnny Carson.

Also, like the American public, Bob was a Johnny Carson fan. Bob called him 'show business royalty and one of the most influential entertainers in the world... a class act all the way.' Like others, Bob referred to Johnny as 'America's nightlight.'

In the early stages of preparing his NBC television specials Hope would make sure that his airdate was compatible with the 'Tonight Show' schedule for a possible appearance with Johnny.

Carson was featured on several Bob Hope variety specials and when publishers wanted a 'major star' to write the foreward to his book, 'Dear Pres, I wanna Tell Ya!' Bob said, 'Johnny Carson or nobody.'"

I'll Be Right back

Critic Jeff Jarvis: "Carson...was, of course, the original Jon Stewart, who showed so much of news to be what it was: a joke. He and other, edgier comics of the day made comedy relevant.

"He was the best barometer of trends. By the time Johnny did it, it took over America. When I was a kid, I wanted a Nehru jacket (shhh... I can hear you snickering... be nice) and my parents would let me -- until Johnny wore one. But when Johnny wore it, that meant it was no longer cool; the meme had gone mainstream."

Jarvis has some great links, including the blog community's reaction to Carson's passing, via Technorati.

Second Goodbye to Carson No Less Painful

TV critic and writer Frazier Moore: "Johnny Carson made his graceful exit from 'The Tonight Show' nearly 13 years ago. But few believed he would really be gone. And no one wanted to believe it.

"Now, with his death at 79, Carson's fans must at last face the truth, and relinquish our long-dimming hope that he might yet pay us another visit on our TV screens.

"No one voice could speak for all of us, after Carson. Or likely ever will."

From the Associated Press

"Johnny Carson, the 'Tonight Show' TV host who served America a smooth nightcap of celebrity banter, droll comedy and heartland charm for 30 years, has died. He was 79."

Writer Jeff Wilson deserves a Pulitzer for those eloquent words. Or as the Real Don Steele said once, "that's all you got to say, baby!"

Famous Friends Remember Johnny Carson

"David Letterman, late-night talk show host — written statement:

'It's a sad day for his family and for the country. All of us who came after are pretenders. We will not see the likes of him again. He gave me a shot on his show and in doing so, he gave me a career. A night doesn't go by that I don't ask myself, 'What would Johnny have done?' He has been greatly missed since his retirement. Thank God for videotapes and DVD's. In this regard, he will always be around. He was the best. A star and a gentleman.'


President George W. Bush — written statement:

'Laura and I are saddened by the death of Johnny Carson. Born in Iowa and raised in Nebraska, Johnny Carson was a steady and reassuring presence in homes across America for three decades. His wit and insight made Americans laugh and think and had a profound influence on American life and entertainment. He was a patriot who served in the United States Navy during World War II and always remembered his roots in the heartland of America. We send our prayers and condolences to the entire Carson family.'"

JOHNNY CARSON, 1925-2005

Fox News's Bill MacCuddy said "this the day I have been dreading." I know what he means. Johnny Carson was my hero, the reason why I got into broadcasting and my main influence. If only I had an ounce of his talent.

When Jack Benny died, Johnny cried all day long. Today, America mourns the death of the King.

Old, part deux

Jonah gives props to a colleague:

"Christopher Caldwell offers a related game in a recent issue of The Weekly Standard. He notes, for example, that Bill Clinton's election in 1992 is closer to the 1970s than it is to the present. Jimmy Carter's inauguration day is as close to Harry Truman's in 1949 as it is the one this week. FDR's time in Washington is about equidistant to Lincoln's and Barack Obama's."

Mind-numbing but fascinating!

Getting old?

Jonah Goldberg relates this story about his intern:

"One time while we were sitting around and he was thirstily watching me drink beer, the subject of Animal House came up. He commented that he knew I was a big fan of Animal House and, yes, it's a good movie and all. But Old School really spoke more to him and his generation. Since then, I've talked to lots of college kids and this seems to be the emerging consensus. Now, it's fine to say that you like Old School — I did — and even to say that you dislike Animal House, but to say that the former eclipses the latter in quality is akin to saying Caddyshack II was a better sequel than Godfather II.

Okay...not quite. But you get the point."

Pope Reaffirms No Condom Stand After Spain Debacle

Come on...you had to see this coming.