APRIL 24 FAMOUS BIRTHDAYS

This was sent to me today:

Kelly Clarkson (22)
Chipper Jones (32)
Jean-Paul Gaultier (52)
Doug Clifford, CCR (59)
Barbra Streisand (62)
Jill Ireland (68)
Shirley MacLaine (70)
Anthony Trollope (189)

Funny, sharing a day with a trollop was something I always wanted on my birthday!

Louisiana May Ban Low-Slung Pants

Doesn't the Westbank have more pressing problems?

Sony in Talks to Buy MGM for $5 Billion

MGM was the Rolls Royce of Hollywood studios. Think of the movies they churned out - Gone With The Wind, The Wizard of Oz, Ben Hur...I could go on for days. Add to that mix United Artists and their roster of classics - the Bond Series, The Pink Panther series, Chaplin, etc. - which were folded into MGM in the 1980s, and you have a studio with a rich history.

Yet after being acquired by Kirk Kerkorian in the late 1970s, it has been sliced and diced so many times that little remains of the roaring lion studio. The MGM lot is now part of Sony yet a large chunk of the library is now in the hands of Warner Bros., a reversal to be sure, as a cash strapped Warner's sold of its old film to UA to be run on TV. Warner has those films back plus all of the MGM/UA library up to 1985 minus a select few.

Now Sony is looking to buy MGM. There had been talks of Warner doing it, which would make sense as the complete combined libraries of Warner's, MGM and UA would be restored. But nooooooo! Now Sony will find room for North By Northwest and 2001 alongside their Columbia Pictures properties. They'd even get back Casino Royale which they sold to MGM as part of a lawsuit settlement (I'm certain that's not the engine driving this train.)

Either way, the lion's roar will probably go silent. Not that it was much more than a kitten's whimper at this point in its history.

Blender Magazine Names 50 Worst Songs

The top 10:
'We Built This City,' Starship
'Achy Breaky Heart,' Billy Ray Cyrus
'Everybody Have Fun Tonight' Wang Chung
'Rollin',' Limp Bizkit
'Ice Ice Baby,' Vanilla Ice
'The Heart of Rock & Roll,' Huey Lewis and the News
'Don't Worry Be Happy,' Bobby McFerrin
'Party All the Time,' Eddie Murphy
'American Life,' Madonna
'Ebony and Ivory,' Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder

Other songs on the list:
Toby Keith 'Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue' (No. 22)
Whitney Houston 'Greatest Love of All' (No. 30)
Ricky Martin 'She Bangs' (No. 39)
Billy Joel 'We Didn't Start the Fire' (No. 41)
Simon & Garfunkel 'The Sounds of Silence' (No. 42)
The Beatles 'Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da' (No. 48)
Celine Dion 'My Heart Will Go On' (No. 50)

Please note that I take issue with Toby Keith, not because its a great song but because it captured the common anger of the time. The Wang Chung isn't so bad, the Beatles was meant to be silly, the Huey Lewis mentions BTR, and the Simon & Garfunkel is a classic. Everything else on this abbreviated list I concur with. Especially the Celine Dion and the Limp Bizkit.

Poets Die Young

"Poets die young -- younger than novelists, playwrights and other writers, a U.S. researcher said on Wednesday."

The world could have waited to hear this news. Sheesh. Your state tax dollars at work.

Prayers and Good Wishes for Tony Randall

I had no idea that Tony Randall was 83 - wow - or that he was ill. With the dearth of game shows on the air, there's not that many opportunities to see Tony these days. (That's a joke).

Okay, last one

Some of the "related stories" on the previously mentioned pot pages:

San Francisco Ponders the Pot Business
Art Garfunkel Pleads Guilty to Drug Possession
Police Ordered to Return Confiscated Pot
Priest Accused of Growing Pot at Church
Kerry 'Toke' Draws Little Smoke
Federal Appeals Court OKs Medical Marijuana in Some Cases
Boy Brings $10,000 of Crack Cocaine to School

Kindergartner Sprinkles Marijuana Over Lasagna

In a related story...

"Police say a 5-year-old boy brought a bag of marijuana to school and was sprinkling it over a friend's lasagna at the school cafeteria before a monitor intervened."

And to think I was using MSG to try and liven things up.

One word: BAM!

Doctor proposes cannabis to calm attention deficit disorder in kids

"Wow, man! Before I went to see the doctor I couldn't sit still. Now, I don't wanna do anything at all! I love staring at the wall all day long...."

Ghosts of Ted McGinley:Unplugging the stupidity of TV Turnoff Week

To the busybodies: fuck you and your TV turnoff week! I don't watch a whole lot of TV anyway, but what I do watch is highly selective and, thanks to TiVo, done on my schedule.

To the elitists who say "I don't watch TV": fuck you too! Do you actually think you're special because you claim you don't watch TV? What you actually are is pretentious and obsessed with your self-image as that of an advanced being and enlightened mind of which you are neither. I see these types on Friendster and have seen the "kill your television" stickers on moto-vehicles in college towns and my reaction everytime I see one of these people is "Get over yourself."

Besides, who's fooling who? There's another opiate of the masses, as Nick Gillespie reveals: "The longer answer is that we are in fact increasingly turning off the TV. Before the anti-TV crew pops the champagne, however, there's this little catch: We're not turning off screens per se; we're merely switching from one to the other. As studies of Internet use document, more and more people are spending more and more time online - and they filch those online moments from current levels of television usage. So television's days are already numbered."

Oh no! What are these poopy-heads to do once TV becomes passe? "Well, the rest of the society may have written TV off but I find it a deposit of delightful irony..."

OFFICIAL 2004 DNC CONVENTION PROGRAM

Leaked to me by an anonymous source (i.e., it's fake but laugh it up anyway):

6:00pm - Opening flag burning ceremony.
6:30pm - Anti-war rally no. 1.
6:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:00pm - Tribute theme to France.
7:10pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.
7:20pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25pm - Tribute theme to Spain.
7:45pm - Anti-war rally no. 2. (Moderated by Michael Moore)
8:00pm - John Kerry presents one side of the issues
8:25pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:30pm - Terrorist appeasement workshop.
9:00pm - Gay marriage ceremony (pending legalization in Massachussetts).
9:30pm - * Intermission *
10:00pm - Flag burning ceremony no. 2.
10:15pm - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.
10:30pm - Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrgh!'
10:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:50pm - Pledge of allegiance to the UN.
11:00pm - Double gay marriage ceremony (see above legal stipulation...ah screw it, we know better so we'll do it anyway)
11:15pm - Maximizing Welfare workshop.
11:20pm - John Kerry presents the other side of the issues
11:30pm - 'Free Saddam' pep rally.
11:59pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:00am - Nomination of Democrat candidate.

AAN Promises Important Iraq Story Tomorrow

This is a glimpse of how liberals think. "We'll get that Bush," they say, "with a MEMO! See! Some Eastern Liberal Policy Expert knows this course of action is bad and Bush ignored it!"

The belief that a memo is going to topple the Bush White House-of-cards is absoluetly ridiculous. With thousands of employees in the executive branch, many of whom are career bureaucrats from across the entire political spectrum, a contrasting view is likely to emerge even among died-in-the-wool conservatives. One person's word is not going to change anything.

Neither is this report, printed in the nation's alternative weekly tabloids (think Gambit Weekly). These publications have an archliberal readership who have already made up their mind that Bush is bad. This is simply fuel to their eternal bleeding heart fire. Republicans are already convinced that Bush is right and this article will have little impact in that regard. At some point, the conservative public tuned out all media except Fox News, and any attempts to "expose" Bush by the rest of the media is an attack on their candidate.

CAMPAIGN ADS TESTED WITH BRAIN SENSORS

This is a bit too Clockwork Orange/Max Headroom for me.

"The first interpretation that occurred to me," one scientist conducting the test tells the NYT, "is that the Democrats see the 9/11 issue as a good way for Bush to get re-elected, and they experience that as a threat."

It took research to figure that out?

'Gift' of potentially lethal sex is linked to rise in HIV cases

The Holy Father's words on the culture of death continue to be proven true. How else could one describe infecting someone with HIV as "a gift" if they did not actively embrace despair in their lives?

These facts are devastating:

"Some sites are used specifically to arrange unprotected - or 'bareback' - encounters between groups of men. Such encounters include 'conversion' parties where men with and without HIV have unprotected sex.

"The internet is helping to foster 'sexual micro-cultures' where dangerous sex is actively sought. Men using gay dating websites are now significantly more likely to risk contracting HIV through unprotected sex than gay men who meet in clubs and gyms, according to the research.

"Sexual health experts are now calling for a crackdown on sites that are helping to fuel a worrying rise in new infections. Sex between men accounted for almost a third of new cases of HIV last year, with 1,414 recorded."

Quite simply, this is moral bankruptcy personified. I cannot comprehend the motivation behind such behavior, except that it must be intense self-loathing and/or a victimization complex so profound that one is willing to risk extinction in order to gain temporary inclusion. How deeply, profoundly saddening.

Frat Brothers Steal, Fry Jumbo Goldfish

This one goes into the fraternity prank hall of fame. I can hear their lawyer, as played by Tim Matheson, at the trial:

"We're not saying these boys didn't steal the goldfish, fry them and serve them to pledges. They did..."

What's so dumb about this is that they did it to their own mascots. Guys, this is the kind of stuff you do a rival school.

Seriously, was five year's probation and 300 hours cleaning fish dung worth it?

Divine Mercy Sunday

It was today. The good news: "Our Lord's Mercy grants forgiveness of all sins and punishment on Feast of Divine Mercy, Mercy Sunday, mercy for even the most hardened sinners!"

The bad news: none. I attended Tridentine mass at 9:30 as usual, where I found out about Divine Mercy Mass @ 3:00. I did not take communion this morning, knowing I would take it later that afternoon. The mass was two hours because every single soul in that church took communion. The folk singers, drummers and sax player had to play thre communion hymns Although not my usual bag, the music wasn't bad even with the decidedly modern jazz feel. I could have done without the CCM closing hymn, but I didn't care. I was there to receive God's forgiveness.

And what a sight to behold! St. Agnes was as I had never seen it before: absolutely packed like sardines. I had to park three blocks away. Lines to the confessional and only one priest to hear them. The Holy Spirit was in that room. I saw three generations of Catholic families there to receive God's grace. There were women actually weeping. The message had hit home to many there.

The Holy Father, John Paul II, “to ensure that the faithful would observe this day (Divine Mercy Sunday) with intense devotion, the Supreme Pontiff himself established that this Sunday be enriched by a plenary indulgence…so that the faithful might receive in great abundance the gift of the consolation of the Holy Spirit.  In this way, they can foster a growing love for God and for their neighbor, and after they have obtained God’s pardon, they in turn might be persuaded to show a prompt pardon to their brothers and sisters.” Having the official diocesan mass at St. Agnes - recent site of the first Tennebrae service in Baton Rouge in over 40 years - adds to the importance of this day. St. Agnes is among the most pious and devoted church communities in the city, embraces the full range of Catholic life and traditions old and new (post-concillar and pre-concillar.)

Msgr. Berggreen, who gave a homily different from the one earlier in the day, dropped a bomb at the end of mass. In the church were relics of St. Faustina, the young girl to whom Jesus revealed himself and his divine mercy, and, incredibly, St. Therese. You should have heard the whole church gasp. Sacred relics of saints are a big deal, a visible remnant of an individual whom the Lord has blessed. When he revealed that surprise, the joy and reverence of the hundreds of people in that church could have powered the city of Baton Rouge for a week.

It was a beautiful day. May Christ's love bless you and may His divine mercy keep you with Him always.+

'Paper or plastic' is now 'computer or cashier'

The CS Monitor must be the George Bush of the media world. I've been using self-checkout at the Winn-Dixie in Prairieville for nearly two years. I love it. I just scan my groceries, swipe my card and I'm done.

Here's the problem: I've seen the whole system baffle many, mostly women, one of them my mother. Old people are likely to be wary. Some folks just want to make humans work because it makes them feel superior. This is to be expected. So y'all go on ahead and be slow. Meanwhile I'm out the do'!

Serv'ya?

Piccadilly Cafeteria is a Baton Rouge and Louisiana institution. Every time I eat there, I know the food will be the best. I enjoyed the new breakfast buffet this morning, and it puts the powdered eggs at Shoney's to shame, and it costs less.

Yet for all the affection I have for the chain, if I hear that fucking "seafood king" commercial one more time, I'll call up the home office and give the corporate bosses a royal thrashing. Don't make me tell board member Bill Clinton about this!

'Get Your Praise On'

Not my bag, really - I prefer old fashioned clubbin', debauchery and all, contrition after hangover, and real booze instead of Kool-Aid. Yet I can't help but see this as a positive alternative for the faith-filled, especially women who get preyed upon in the bad clubs. Better for them to get prayed upon in the good clubs.

The Gospel According to George

"Freedom is the deepest need of every human soul."
- President George W. Bush

Newsweek is a liberal rag read by liberal wags and they know how to give their audience what they want: something to get breathlessly indignant about. Listen hard and somewhere you'll hear "why he's using GOD to influence his policy! How dare he!"

Not that any of this affects our fearless leader in the least:

"George W. Bush's aides warned him that the press conference he was about to hold would be contentious. Reporters 'will brother-in-law this,' one aide predicted, using a golf term for a type of teamwork on the course. They'll follow each other's questions, the aides said, serially demanding apologies and specifics on the tumult in Iraq and the findings of the 9/11 commission. 'Really?' the president replied, as in: so what?"

That's right...so what! My sentiments exactly!

"Bush's lead political aides expressed satisfaction. 'There were a few rocky moments,' one conceded. 'But I'll trade them any time for the chance to give that "freedom" speech at the start. In wartime, voters want the guy with resolve.'"

That's exactly right. Hey W...play on, playa! You're gonna be alright.