TIGERS WIN!

12-1 season! and a MAJOR cluster for the BCS debacle. Will LSU be #1 at last? Will a deserving LSU be invited to play in the national championship in the Sugar Bowl? We'll see in the next few days. GEAUX TIGERS!

Hunger Constitutes Threat to Peace, Says John Paul II

The Holy Father is on to something. I cannot fathom how in this day and age we don't have the wherewithal to bring inexpensive food to the peoples of the world.

This is the sort of thing that the U.N. should be involved in, not security issues. I suspect that tin-horn dictators and drug lords are to blame. So we must think about taking them out. Probably not what the Pope intended, but as we ended the torture in Iraq we can end the starvation at the hands of similar despots.

Act of Reparation for Profane Language

All of us allow our mouths to get dirty and I ain't talking about dental hygeine. Let's all pause and say this time-honored benediction to counter our John Kerry-esque tendencies:

Blessed be God.
Blessed be his holy Name.
Blessed be Jesus Christ, true God and true Man.
Blessed be the Name of Jesus.
Blessed be his most sacred Heart.
Blessed be his most precious Blood.
Blessed be Jesus in the most holy Sacrament of the altar.
Blessed be the Holy Spirit, the Paraclete.
Blessed be the great Mother of God, Mary most holy.
Blessed be her holy and immaculate conception.
Blessed be her glorious assumption.
Blessed be the name of Mary, Virgin and Mother.
Blessed be St. Joseph, her most chaste spouse.
Blessed be God in his angels and in his saints.

Losing it

As Howard Dean's ascendency continues, John F. Kerry drops a few casual f-bombs in Rolling Stone. No matter how foul our culture may get, our President and those who aspire to the job must be above the vulgar vernacular. How disgraceful. Locker-room talk is not appropriate in the public forum, ever.

This act of desperation should not come as a surprise. Kerry is trying desperately to stay noticed in the face of press-darling Dean and his rage. Kerry knows the frustrating truth the White House and the Clintons -- the two parties that want Howard Dean is the drivers seat -- have known all along: Howard Dean is unelectable against George W. Bush and the nutty left is plowing forward with a renewed sense of entitlement.

Kerry has his own sense of entitlement to deal with, and being second is unacceptable to him, hence his continued attacks on Dean. At least Kerry has managed to stay somewhat visible, while all of the other Democrat candidates are failing and flailing, gaining absolutely no traction - Gephardt, Lieberman Edwards and even Sharpton are almost invisible on the media radar.

With the economy beginning to heat up, Iraq cooling down, and Howard Dean being the scary guy that he is, George W. Bush's reelection chances continue to improve.

'Trampled' Wal-Mart Shopper Has History Of Injury Claims

Well well well! She's been trampled, and by the looks of it she's trampled on some people trying to get to the desert cart in the past ten years. This is the trial lawyers' poster child!

Beating the Holiday Blues

"It's that time of year/when the world falls in love..."
or so Frank Sinatra sings on his 1953 hit The Christmas Waltz. But what if you're like me and single? What if you're even more like me where nearly all the romantic relationships you've ever been in went to hell at the end of the year? Don't be shocked if you get the Holiday Blues.

Personally, I love Christmas even though it has morphed into a holiday primarily for children (as if it ever wasn't, let's be real) leaving single, childless, heterosexual adults without a place to stand in the year end pageant. While Hallowe'en has now allowed adults to engage in drunken debauchery, naughtiness at Christmas is still unacceptable.

So what is a person to do? Hell if I know. There are a few things NOT to do, and this WebMD article offers a few pointers. It reflects the immediate post-9/11 atmosphere in which it was written,

One piece of advice: if you don't have a taste for debauchery, avoid Bad Santa at the cine-mega-plex. You'll feel empty and cheap. Then again if you like debauchery, rock around that X-mas tree!

PETA Billboard Depicts Virgin Mary Cradling Chicken Carcass

Rhode Island must be a peaceful state. If PETA had tried this bullshit in Louisiana, their headquarters would be burnt to a crisp by a mob of torch-carrying villagers. Indeed, a shameful sight.

St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle; be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into Hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

File under "see I told you so!"

It was bound to happen. Even the official organ of the C. of E., The Church of England Newspaper, is reporting it: Traditionalists preparing for Catholic conversion

This is very good news. The differences between faithful Catholics and Anglicans are so slight, while the differences between liberals and conservatives within the Episcopal church are a wide valley indeed. To those conservatives I say "Welcome." Or more appropriately, when it happens, "welcome home, we missed you something fierce!"

U.S. military ousts gay linguists

I guess they just weren't cunning enough!

McCain is Right

We are spending toomuch. Bush's triangulation strategy is in full effect, and while I admire him for trying to steal issues away from the Democrats, I too flinch at the cost of it all.

BIG NIGHT FOR DUBYA DETESTERS

I don't ever want to hear talk of right-wing conspiracy again. Remember, everything the left accuses the right of doing is actually an admission of their own activities. Don't think of it as an accusation, think of their diatribes aS CONFESSIONS IN CODE.

Empowered woman/Stay Away from Me-ee/Empowered Woman/Mama Let me be-hee...

According to Newsweek's article The Bible's Lost Stories (penned by two women, no rebuttal/back-talk from anyone), "a new generation of scholars is altering our beliefs about the role of women in the scriptures."

Apparently revisiting the stories of Lillith, Pope Joan and other long-since debunked faerie taeles isn't enough. Never mind that The DaVinci Code is fiction. Never mind that the women pictured are true-to-form in that they are angry-looking frumps without makeup (tee-hee-hee). I guess the answer is 'No': absolutely nothing is sacred to feminist women.

There has always been a strong woman full of character in the Bible for women to emulate and all to honor. In other words, Ave Maria!

District To Offer Condoms For Free

Yes, even after all the sexual harassment lawsuits out there, sometimes the urge to do the wild thing (as the kids used to say) strikes most government workers in inner cities. Since the highest level one can obtain in the urban centers of our nation is the status of a "pimp-first class", sometimes a civil servant's gotta do what a civil servant's gotta do. It's about breaking away and getting ahead of the pack.

"They're going to be as common as water fountains," Ivan O. Torres, interim director of the city's HIV/AIDS Administration, said of the dispensers. "The mayor is committed to this. . . . This is no longer something to be ashamed of. It affects all of us."

City officials, who announced the measure on World AIDS Day yesterday, said they know of no other city or state that has distributed prophylactics so broadly from within government buildings.

We urge all of our employees to take advantage of the condom machines...they're there for a reason! So if you see a fellow employee who's rump you'd like to plunder or whose breastices you'd like to T-F, just remember that we have been nice enough to think the situation through! After all, we know that staring at that Washington Monument all day can give some folks ideas (George must have been well-endowed to have an monumental erection like that!)

We hope the federal government takes the lead and installs these dispensers in the Rotunda.